LIVE . LOVE . HURT . HOPE

Breezing through life and loving every moment…

Song: 'Instead' by Madeleine Peyroux

A very inspiring and feel-good song I came across recently…

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Instead of feeling bad
Be glad you got somewhere to go
Instead of feeling sad
Be happy you’re not all alone
Instead of feeling low
Get high on everything you love
Instead of wastin’ time
Feel good ’bout what you are dreaming of

Instead of trying to win something you never understood
Just play the game you know eventually you will you both look good

It’s silly to pretend to have something you don’t own
Just let her be a woman and you’ll be her man

Instead of feelin’ broke
Buck up and get yourself in the black
Instead of losing hope
Touch up the things that feel out of whack
Instead of being old
Be young because you know you are
Instead of feeling cold
Let sunshine into your heart

Instead of acting crazy chasing things that make you mad
Keep your heart ahead, it’ll lead you back to what you have
With every step you are closer to the place you need to be
It’s up to you to let her love you sweetly

Instead of acting crazy chasing things that make you mad
Just keep your heart ahead, it’ll lead you back to what you have
With every step you are closer to the place you need to be
But it’s up to you to let her love you sweetly

Instead of feeling bad
Be glad you got someone to love
Instead of feeling sad
Be happy there’s a god above
Instead of feeling ‘lone
Remember you are never on your own
Instead of feeling sad
Be happy that she’s there at home
She’s waitin’ for by the phone
So be glad she all your own

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Blood Test Results

A month after the second suspected miscarriage, I went in again to the obgyn’s for the scheduled blood test that she told me about earlier. It was to check for the presence of auto-immunity antibodies and general screening of my thyroid functions.

So a week after the arm-poking experience (you might have read about it in the last post), hubby and I went back to face the results. I was actually feeling quite calm, because either way, I had nothing to lose. After barely 5 minutes of waiting (the last visit had us waiting for 2 hours!), we were ushered into the doctor’s room and flashed my results almost with style ( ha! ha!) and said :

“EVERYTHING IS NORMAL”

Whoopee!

So I am good to go, and feeling quite pleased with myself. Here’s looking at brighter, happier and luckier days ahead! 🙂

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My Papa's New Craftwork

Here’s what my papa created out of used aluminium drink cans…. aren’t they lovely! They actually spin in the breeze, but I can’t figure out how to embed a video in this blog…

Little windmills out of aluminium drink cans!

Little windmills out of aluminium drink cans!

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The Lost Baby Bird: A Rescue Mission

I woke up on Saturday morning, went outside for some fresh air with my tea and book, when out of the corner of my eye I saw something twitching on the side porch. From afar it looked like a brown withered piece leaf being teased by the breeze. But then, moving closer I discovered it was a little baby bird! Gosh!

Looking around there wasn’t any sign of a nest nearby, except this small nook under my roof tiles, like soooooooooo high up. No way are we going to climb up and stuff the poor fella inside. So, I was left with two choices…. leave it, or rescue it. Knowing me, who move snails out of pathways, I took the poor patchy-feathered thing (it’s probably not TOO young) and placed it inside a box. Snipped some leaves for some cushioning and warmth and covered it with a big leaf. Ok, pathetic attempt for a nest but hey! It is not like I rescue birds that fall out of the sky everyday.

I really do not know what else to do… I cannot just leave it! So I am trying to keep it alive, feeding it pieces of cooked rice and barley… I have no frikkin’ idea how to go get worms! Mum tells me it probably won’t survive but it’s been two days and it’s still alive and kicking. I hope mommy bird is visiting baby bird whenever I am not around…I placed the box in a pot just underneath where I suspect the nest it… hopefully she’s not THAT blind…we’ll see how it goes…..

Where the %@$@% am I ????????? MOMMYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!

Where the %@$@% am I ????????? MOMMYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!

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What's Blooming

Some orchid I got from mom 2 years ago. Bloomed for the first time

Some orchid I got from mom 2 years ago. Bloomed for the first time

Water lily...4 weeks old! It's growing pretty fast! Can't wait for it to flower soon...

Water lily...4 weeks old! It's growing pretty fast! Can't wait for it to flower soon...

Goodness gracious! My fishies have become parents! :)

Goodness gracious! My fishies have become parents! 🙂

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When I Look At Them Now…

I’ve been spending a lot of time with Mum and Dad in Miri. Every minute of my time after work and on weekends for the past 4 weeks, I spent them with my parents. Mostly just doing simple everyday things, really… having breakfast, making dinner, doing the dishes or just sitting around watching TV or chatting. Throughout these few weeks, I have been observing them, and realized the subtle changes in them.

The way dad sometimes absent-mindedly do things, how mom would sometimes misplace things, but eventually finds them back, how dad feels tired more easily than before, the extra gray hair, the fine wrinkles and creases that didn’t seem to be obvious previously…

My parents are now into their 60s, thankfully still in good health without any major problems. But of course, when I look at them now, I can see that the signs of aging are slowly creeping up on them. I cannot help it but feel inadequate sometimes that I cannot make it all better for them. For all the things that I can provide, I cannot reverse the seconds, hours, days and years that keep going by. I cannot stop the age spots that are appearing on daddy’s arms. I cannot make dad young and strong like before. I cannot stop the aches that sometimes slow mummy down in her steps. I can try to slow it down, but I cannot stop them. And that makes me so afraid. I am terrified of the years that keep going by at a speed that leaves me breathless sometimes…what more for them?

I have been offered and told that I could have more than I have now by going off to work elsewhere. I should leave this place behind. But for what? For just more money?

Looking at my parents now, re-confirms my decision to stay. Oh yes, people tell me, my parents would want me to go and have better opportunities. But heck… when will it ever be enough anyway? And while we go away in search of riches elsewhere, the years will keep going by. No amount we bring back can ever buy back those lost time.

Ah yes, parents get on your nerves again and again. But for all those years they spent pushing me along the good life and correcting my mistakes, I just see it fit to let them indulge in some eccentricities of their own. Why not?

When I look at mum and dad now, I only want to see them happy. It shall not be any other way….and that is the whole honest truth, from the bottom of my heart.

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Bah! Macho-ism!

So…hubby is unwell. And I am pissed with him! Very, very pissed. Why…? Because I do not understand why he has to keep doing things that will further deteriorates his health just because he “thinks nothing else can make it worse”. Or “this has nothing to do with it lah!”.

Aaarrggh! Why does he insist on pushing away things that are good for him, and will help make him better just because they have not been ‘scientifically proven”. Eeerrgghh!!!!!! That drives me up the wall!!!!It’s not like I am feeding him lizard tails steeped in worm oil. I am just telling him simple things like…please stay away from ice cold water when his stomach is in knots!

Sigh… all I want to do is make him better….what does it take to make him listen?

Well, he is asleep now, feeling better after a herbal remedy. I so want to tell him “I TOLD YOU SO!” but I suppose all that matters is that he is going to be alright….

Ah…why am I so forgiving….

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Blood Tests Part 1

Back from the blood tests looking like a drug addict. The nurse poked my left arm and halfway through went “tsk tsk tsk”. I was like…HUH?

But being a little (o-kay, VERY) afraid of needles, I was not looking and felt her pull the needle out and asked me to apply pressure on the area where she withdrew blood earlier. I sighed in relief thinking it was over. But noooooooooooooo….she said blood suddenly stopped going into the vial earlier so she had to take more. I was like…HUH?? What? How can the blood stop? I am pretty sure I was not dead yet.

Anyway, for some bizarre reason, I didn’t supply enough blood from my left arm, so on to the right arm. I looked at hubby in sheer terror, and he gave me a reassuring look, mouthing “It will be alright” silently. I smiled. And then he started making funny faces and made me giggle. Before I knew it, in went the needle into my right arm and THANK GOODNESS this time I was pumping enough blood from my veins into the vial.

So next week, I will be getting the results for the tests. The good news is, I could be normal and just need normal hormone supplements to help my next pregnancy along. The other good news is, if results do come back and I have wicked antibodies that were attacking my own cells (an embryo included), then I will need to be given anti-anti-bodies to sustain the next pregnancy.

So, either way, I should be fine. I hope.

Till then…..

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Miri-Singapore-Miri

Air Asia now flies to Singapore direct from Miri !

Exciting news….yes?

Yes, truly exciting… for us folks having relatives in Sg or just simply long to go spend some hard-earned $$ shopping for things which we may or may not really need. 🙂

For those reading this post and thinking, “What’s the big deal??”

Come live and work here for 7 years … and I’ll ask you the same question back…

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Hubby's Back!….well almost…

I am about to go pick up the other half in less than half an hour….

Wow how time flies…..

Yippe yay yay!

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