No, we are not on vacation..in fact on the contrary. Well, hubby is away again for the second time leaving baby and myself home alone for the weekend. He’s attending a close friend’s wedding in another town, which leaves me alone for two days with my thoughts (and Maddy). Why didn’t he bring us? Well..it would take a 2.5 hour flight followed by another 3 hour car ride, and repeat that the next day for the way back. We thought Maddy isn’t yet ready for that journey.
So I have two whole days alone at home with Maddy. As usual, it wasn’t easy but manageable. I would say that to be able to cook two meals and have two proper showers while with a 4-month old baby probably means I have a good little girl here. But I am also realizing that all my time is spent either on her or work. I do not have a social life anymore, apart from the occasional tea or gatherings at a friend’s house. I wonder if I am slowly being consumed by this new role and abandoning my previous self? I miss gossip sessions with my friends. I miss sleepovers. I miss spur-of-the-moment trips. I miss shopping for myself! I get off currently by scrutinizing websites selling the Prada and Gucci of baby carriers!
Time to smack myself to remind me of who I was before. While motherhood is a wonderful fulfilling new life, I think that it should be an improvement to who I was? Not leaving everything else behind. I am still a daughter, a wife, a sister, a friend and an employee. Must remember that conversations do not only revolve around baby and diapers. The world is a bigger place with more news than what Maddy does everyday.
I think by remembering that and striking a balance will make me a better mother, a better woman.