LIVE . LOVE . HURT . HOPE

Breezing through life and loving every moment…

14.3.2012

I am slowly counting down the days till hubby returns from his business trip. Here I am again sitting in the dark typing and hoping that the little one will be okay throughout the night.
She woke up slightly warm again and a little cranky, whining as she followed me around the house while I frantically got things ready for work and filled her daycare bag with the usual daily essentials. By the time I managed to pick her up, she was obviously upset and not the happy smiley little girl she usually is in the mornings. She almost wailed all the way to daycare except halfway through she just stared blankly out of the window quietly. The poor girl must be miserable to the max.

Thankfully no calls from daycare throughout the day, which meant that she was almost her usual self with no obvious illness, except that she was just a little warmer than usual. The teachers said that she ate well and drank plenty of water, which was a good thing. She is not drinking her milk as much there, but I suppose I can accept that as long as she eats her other meals well.

Back home, was when the craziness started. Maddy refused to be left alone even for a few minutes and I nursed her for a while right after I dump my bags onto the floor. She fell asleep and I let her take a shuteye for perhaps half an hour before I had to gently wake her up to prepare her dinner. Needless to say, she started whining again and I had to carry her around the house. The slight fever was making her cranky, but at the same time being the only adult at home, there were things that I just HAD to do. So, with one arm cradling Maddy, I prepared her dinner and other stuff around the kitchen. By the end of it all, my arm was killing me. I managed to distract her a little by letting her ‘help’ me with the laundry, after which she demanded to be carried again.

Dinner was less of a fight compared to yesterday, but only slightly. I managed to coax her into finishing some porridge with pumpkin and fish, halfway through which she demanded to be held and I fed her while sitting on my lap. Oh well….whatever works…..I was exhausted by then. She had to eat something. I had cereal for dinner. Whatever works….

Dishes are still in the sink, she would not let me turn my back on her…I tried putting her in the baby chair next to the sink, but within minutes she started wailing. I did not want to aggravate her further considering she was still slightly feverish…so the dishes would have to wait till tomorrow as usual, I will be back over lunch to clean up.

Maddy is also having a slight diaper rash, which is now an additional item on my list of concerns. She never had it as an infant, so why now? Nothing is helping. Oh gosh…

Such is the life of a ‘single’ parent for the week. Please come home soon, daddy of my child.

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Checking In

I should write more, but alas the demands of work and motherhood leave me with very little time to actually sit down and be given some quiet time to do so. I am either usually welded to the sink washing up, washing Maddy or picking up toys. Actually, since I taught Maddy how to pick up her toys and keep them into their boxes each night, things have gotten a little better. But still, there will always be a ball I have to look for from underneath the couch or that one elusive part of a puzzle toy that goes missing (it still is, actually).

Madelyn is now fast approaching her second birthday…two months short. An almost-young lady but not quite. She speaks so much more now and role plays with her toys…pretty soon she will be asking questions and telling us stories of imaginary friends. She has her little meltdowns but thankfully nothing unmanageable. It would be a little shriek here and there but always at home. Never in public, yet! But she is still generally well-behaved, lovable and cute as a button! She seems to have a soft spot for animals….she learns the names of any animal almost immediately and shows interest in pictures of animals more so compared to other things. Our future vet or zoologist perhaps? Hmmm…

Changes are coming soon….we will probably be moving out of our current location in a couple of months’ time. But nothing firm yet. I am looking forward to it, as when the change happens, my new career takes flight – to be a fulltime mommy!

Stay tuned!

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The Simple Joys In Life

I been making a lot of lists lately..so while we’re at it, here’s looking at the little things that are so simple and insignificant, yet will always put a smile to my face or give me that warm fuzzy wuzzy feeling inside…

Going to sleep with rain pouring outside, and knowing I am warm and dry in bed

Waking up in the middle of the night to a thunderstorm after a long dry spell

A cool breezy weekend morning

Chicken curry with lots of soft potatoes

A meal with a side dish of sweet boiled carrots and plump green peas

A neatly arranged bookshelf-preferably mine!

My daughter’s grin

My husband on the phone telling me that he will be back home earlier than planned

Knowing I have a 20-something year old friendship with my girlfriends

Caramel popcorn

Wet sand under my bare feet and waves between my toes!

A brand new shiny saucepan

A happy dog’s wagging tail

Cold butter on warm toasted bread

My grandma’s patchwork quilt (on a cold rainy night)

Fish and chips

A ladybug on my plant

A clean house

My laundry basket empty and no chores

Marketing with mom

…so, what makes YOU smile?

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The Bucket List

I think it is time that I actually put down somewhere the list of things that I would like to achieve before I check out from Earth…been having some floating in mynhead and appearing in my thoughts from time to time. So as a start, here are some, I will update this list when new ones come up hee hee

1. Have curly short Halle Berry hair – almost wanted to do so a million times at the hairdresser’s but darrrnnnnnnn it! No guts!

2. Own a totally new set of kitchen appliances, pots and pans, dishes etc. – just for the heck of it since I have been using hand-me-downs for like….forever! This shall include a set of mugs and glasses and they must all look the same! Yes I am freaky…

3. Spend a few years as a Stay At Home Wife/Mom – time is running out for this…

4. Dine at a celebrity chef restaurant – none of those itsy bitsy arty farty kinda dishes, please.

5. Take a family vacation; mum, dad, brother and our families – easier said than done but MUST do soon!!

6. Visit Scotland again

7. Live in Singapore, again

8. Own a library, at home – this was inspired by a friend who recently invited us to her new home, complete with a roomful of books, floor to ceiling shelves on 3 walls filled with books, books and more books! I would like that some day

More to come…….

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Just Another Friday…

Another end to another week. An almost 16-month old Madelyn is sound asleep, murmuring softly in her slumber and I get some quiet time to myself at the end of a busy day. Hubby’s been offshore for two weeks now and will not be home for another week. But thankfullly my folks are aound to keep me company.

So what have we been up to lately? The usual, I guess.

I have FINALLY returned to my pre-pregnancy weight and size after what seemed like forever. But between work and my very busy schedule at home as a part time single mother, I did not have much time to ponder over my lack of style or how I could not fit into my old clothes. Then suddenly I could once again slip into those pants and zip up the those old skirts! And all without a single hour of exercise. Took me a year, but I got there. It did not matter anyway prior to this whether or not I looked hot…because everyone else was checking out my baby and not my bum.

Maddy is now an almost toddler. She repeats a lot of the words that we say. She can now say very clearly; hello, buh bye, ball, mummy, papa, puppy, dog, mam-mam, duck, turtle and my favoarite of them all – plee (her version of please). My daughter is growing up too fast, she is a little person now, with a fully developed character, needs, preference, opinions and moods. She is eating very well and is a snacker, tasting almost everything we offer her and eats her meals without fuss. I have introduced fresh milk to her on weekdays when I am at work, but will still offer her breastmilk in a bottle before she goes to bed. I am still nursing her at nights, although the frequencies are reducing. She is probably weaning herself soon, which is about time but I will let her take the lead. I want to enjoy that special closeness that we share during nursing for as long as she lets me, as I know once she fully weans I may never get that back again.

You might probably know by now that I do not have time for any other personal activities outside work apart from house chores and spending all my time with Maddy. It is to be expected I suppose, with Hubby being away. The moment I get home, it’s just a few hours of feeding, washing, cleaning and putting wriggly person to bed. And every day it is just the same. But I am not complaining, life is just different now with a different kind of fun. I am just so tired sometimes but that is to be expected.

Time to get some rest now…and snuggle up to my chubby cheeks (yes we co-sleep and enjoying every moment of it!). Good night peeps!

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Ladybird Ladybird Where Are You?

I seem to recall that during my younger days, one of our many favorite things to do was going in search of ladybirds. Back then, it was so easy to find ladybirds on a leaf in a garden plant. My friends and I would place a finger next to the ladybird and had it crawl onto our palms for a while. It was a fun thing to do back then.

I have not seen a ladybird in my garden nor any back home. Have they all gone away, disappeared due to our changing weather and environment? Or have I just been too busy with life and over looking these little red cuties?

Where are you, little ladybird?

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Lazy Sunday

It’s been drizzling all morning and after a quick spin to town and back to get a screen protector on my iPad (yes my new toy from my birthday!!) and an early lunch, we are back home to enjoy the rest of the weekend lazing around. Maddy dozed off in the car on the way back and is now continuing her morning nap beside me. Here she is still in her pajamas full of squirel prints!

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Just a quick update, her first birthday came and went without much fuss. My parents and brother flew over to celebrate with her and despite being down with a fever that day she did have a good time regardless. We got cupcakes with a tortoise made from fresh cream on the top (she had a thing for tortoises then) and sang her a birthday song. Just us – family.

A week later she developed yet another episode of high fever which came and went for about five days. But the little champ rode through it without much fuss and we were so proud of her! I believe that her being a breastfed baby made all the difference and I will continue to give her breastmilk at least for a further six months. After all, if I still can, why not?

Do you know that now she naps so easily and soundly on her own? Remember those days when it took so much effort to put her down for naps? Maddy now just falls asleep so easily and takes 2-3 hour naps each twice a day. I am so glad indeed I listened to my instinct and let her grow and settle at her own pace. And with everything else, she proved to us yet again that she will adapt when the time comes. Next will be potty training and her sleeping through the night without needing me for comfort. Although it does feel nice to be needed 🙂

To all my faithful readers out there, welcome back to my blog and I hope all is well at your side of the world!

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Gone and Back!

It’s been so long since my last post. With work and hubby being away I barely had time in between chores and Maddy. I drafted a few posts but never really finished them because I had wanted to make them perfect and worthwhile. What the heck…I think I will just write whatever that comes to my mind and will try to update as much as possible from now on.

As a start, Madelyn is now one year old!

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Was Gonna…

…blog about latest updates, but I think I am going to take a nap first…:P 😛

Later….zzzzzzzzz…

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Away From It All?

No, we are not on vacation..in fact on the contrary. Well, hubby is away again for the second time leaving baby and myself home alone for the weekend. He’s attending a close friend’s wedding in another town, which leaves me alone for two days with my thoughts (and Maddy). Why didn’t he bring us? Well..it would take a 2.5 hour flight followed by another 3 hour car ride, and repeat that the next day for the way back. We thought Maddy isn’t yet ready for that journey.

So I have two whole days alone at home with Maddy. As usual, it wasn’t easy but manageable. I would say that to be able to cook two meals and have two proper showers while with a 4-month old baby probably means I have a good little girl here. But I am also realizing that all my time is spent either on her or work. I do not have a social life anymore, apart from the occasional tea or gatherings at a friend’s house. I wonder if I am slowly being consumed by this new role and abandoning my previous self? I miss gossip sessions with my friends. I miss sleepovers. I miss spur-of-the-moment trips. I miss shopping for myself! I get off currently by scrutinizing websites selling the Prada and Gucci of baby carriers!

Time to smack myself to remind me of who I was before. While motherhood is a wonderful fulfilling new life, I think that it should be an improvement to who I was? Not leaving everything else behind. I am still a daughter, a wife, a sister, a friend and an employee. Must remember that conversations do not only revolve around baby and diapers. The world is a bigger place with more news than what Maddy does everyday.

I think by remembering that and striking a balance will make me a better mother, a better woman.

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