LIVE . LOVE . HURT . HOPE

Breezing through life and loving every moment…

I Love It When…

… I saw tears at the corner of my mother’s eyes because she was laughing so hard watching her grand daughter’s cheeky tricks

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The Simple Joys In Life

I been making a lot of lists lately..so while we’re at it, here’s looking at the little things that are so simple and insignificant, yet will always put a smile to my face or give me that warm fuzzy wuzzy feeling inside…

Going to sleep with rain pouring outside, and knowing I am warm and dry in bed

Waking up in the middle of the night to a thunderstorm after a long dry spell

A cool breezy weekend morning

Chicken curry with lots of soft potatoes

A meal with a side dish of sweet boiled carrots and plump green peas

A neatly arranged bookshelf-preferably mine!

My daughter’s grin

My husband on the phone telling me that he will be back home earlier than planned

Knowing I have a 20-something year old friendship with my girlfriends

Caramel popcorn

Wet sand under my bare feet and waves between my toes!

A brand new shiny saucepan

A happy dog’s wagging tail

Cold butter on warm toasted bread

My grandma’s patchwork quilt (on a cold rainy night)

Fish and chips

A ladybug on my plant

A clean house

My laundry basket empty and no chores

Marketing with mom

…so, what makes YOU smile?

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I Love It When…

… I wake up in the middle of the night ti find Maddy’s chubby cheeks pressed against mine and the soft hush of her breathing in slumber close to my ear 🙂

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I Love It When….

…. Maddy thinks she has done something wrong and comes running to me making her “mmmmmmmmm??” sound as if to say “Why did it break, mommy? Was it me?”

Just earlier tonight she was playing with my breast pump when suddenly the battery cover came off. She picked it up from the floor, lifted it up to me and went “Mmmmm?”

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Just Another Friday…

Another end to another week. An almost 16-month old Madelyn is sound asleep, murmuring softly in her slumber and I get some quiet time to myself at the end of a busy day. Hubby’s been offshore for two weeks now and will not be home for another week. But thankfullly my folks are aound to keep me company.

So what have we been up to lately? The usual, I guess.

I have FINALLY returned to my pre-pregnancy weight and size after what seemed like forever. But between work and my very busy schedule at home as a part time single mother, I did not have much time to ponder over my lack of style or how I could not fit into my old clothes. Then suddenly I could once again slip into those pants and zip up the those old skirts! And all without a single hour of exercise. Took me a year, but I got there. It did not matter anyway prior to this whether or not I looked hot…because everyone else was checking out my baby and not my bum.

Maddy is now an almost toddler. She repeats a lot of the words that we say. She can now say very clearly; hello, buh bye, ball, mummy, papa, puppy, dog, mam-mam, duck, turtle and my favoarite of them all – plee (her version of please). My daughter is growing up too fast, she is a little person now, with a fully developed character, needs, preference, opinions and moods. She is eating very well and is a snacker, tasting almost everything we offer her and eats her meals without fuss. I have introduced fresh milk to her on weekdays when I am at work, but will still offer her breastmilk in a bottle before she goes to bed. I am still nursing her at nights, although the frequencies are reducing. She is probably weaning herself soon, which is about time but I will let her take the lead. I want to enjoy that special closeness that we share during nursing for as long as she lets me, as I know once she fully weans I may never get that back again.

You might probably know by now that I do not have time for any other personal activities outside work apart from house chores and spending all my time with Maddy. It is to be expected I suppose, with Hubby being away. The moment I get home, it’s just a few hours of feeding, washing, cleaning and putting wriggly person to bed. And every day it is just the same. But I am not complaining, life is just different now with a different kind of fun. I am just so tired sometimes but that is to be expected.

Time to get some rest now…and snuggle up to my chubby cheeks (yes we co-sleep and enjoying every moment of it!). Good night peeps!

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Snapshots From the Past: Paperboats & Puddles

What a rainy night it is tonight…heavy ran failing in sheets outside. But I oh so love rainy nights, specially when I am tucked warm in bed with my sleeping baby beside me. I have always loved the rain; its calming steady sound against the roof, the distant rumble of thunder and the smell of the wet earth and leaves.

Rain makes puddles. And there are no better puddles than the ones that appeared around the garden of our old house back home. We had a huge garden and the house was surrounded by a network of shallow and deep drainage system to channel away rain water. Perhaps it was because our house was so old that the drains did not do a very good job during heavy downpours, so there would always be big puddles of water everywhere in the garden.

I love love love the puddles! Especially the extra large ones which appeared during very heavy rain. As a child, I had the weirdest imagination. I would imagine us living by the edge of a large lake and would throw stones into the puddles to create ripples and imagine them to be wavelets on the lake. I was fixated with ripples! I remember that well. The larger the puddle, the better the ripples. The more excited I would get. Odd, I know.

Mom would always fold paper boats for me to sail on the puddles during rainy days. She made large ones and little ones and I would launch my fleet of boats into my imaginative lake. I would use a stick to create ripples and watch them bob along and jump for joy.

Nowdays house gardens are so well drained that we hardly find puddles anymore….there are good soil, underground drainage….all sorts of landscaping technologies. These are meant to be an improvement to muddy gardens and waterlocked compounds, of course. But alas, it also means an end to children splashing around water, digging muddy holes for make-believe treasures and launching imaginary fleets of ship. I should perhaps bring Maddy to our local lake in the park to sail paper boats…but then again I might get fined for littering.

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Nursing: Nine Months & Counting

Omigosh!! I have breastfed Maddy for 9 whole months!! When we first started, I wasn’t sure if I would make it to 3 months, then 6 months seemed so far away. But now it has been 9 months and 1 week!

Will we be able to make it to 1 year? Absolutely yes! And beyond, perhaps?

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Wind

My daughter farts in her sleep since birth…not discreet little almost-quiet ones, but the kind that you won’t miss standing a few metres away.

At a little over nine months tonight, she is still doing it and just did a moment ago. Ah how I love my windy little baby…

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Back @ Work

In the office, yes. I have had countless people ask me before, when I was going to get back to work. The fact is, I had been working, from home…the fact that I was home did not mean that I was slacking off in my pajamas. I was promptly responding to emails, reading and reviewing reports, returning queries from the fabrication yard…all these while taking care of an infant as well. I had to admit, even though I was at home, I could barely spend time interacting with Maddy…I just spent enough time each day feeding, bathing, changing and putting her down for naps, and then I would be back hunching over my laptop. It did make me feel bad that I used her obsession with certain toys to my benefit, she would play on her own without needing me to be there with her. But during those months, I suppose that was the best I could do…strike an arrangement with the boss to allow me to remain home caring for child. In return for that, I had to honour my arrangement, I would act upon work requirements…as if I was there sitting in my office cubicle. It was TIRING, having to juggle both baby and work…and there were days when I guiltily wished I was back in the office.

So, that worked out fine for about three months…and finally Maddy’s babysitter could start with us and I got back to the usual routine. I am back at work AT THE OFFICE…been two weeks now, and things are going well. Maddy is adjusting well to the babysitter, apart from the occasional fussiness when she sees me come home…it is as if everything is fine while I am away, then when I walk through the door she realizes I have been away and starts missing me! But my worries of her not being able to adjust or not being to nap with the babysitter are unfounded. Things are great! The babysitter is great!

I am still adjusting to my new role as a working parent. It throws at me various questions and decisions that I never had to consider before. I used to and will soon again have, a highly mobile job that involves a lot of traveling. It was fun then, jetting off weekly for work and shopping and meeting up with friends. But things are different now…I now have to consider work and Maddy…she needs me for food and comfort. As much as she is comfortable with her daddy, and will drink formula milk, I still want her to be fully breastfed and she still wants me to put her to sleep at nights. I expressed my wish to hold back on traveling to the boss, and thankfully he was understanding enough to place subordinates with me who might be able to assist me later. I am blessed to be working with such kind people. But you know, even if it does affect my appraisals later on, deep inside I know that doesn’t really bother me. My family is my priority for now.

So, this is still new to me, this fulltime working mom thingy. Gone are the days of sleeping in or taking naps whenever I want to. I wake up at about 6.30am every day to pump milk, then get ready for work. At the office I take 10 minutes out once in the morning and once in the afternoon to pump milk. After a whole day of work, I get home, babysitter leaves and I wash, cook and manage baby…thankfully with some help from hubby. By 9pm when Maddy knocks off for the day…I am ready to sleep myself. Hubby and I try to watch some movies from time to time and talk too. I suppose we don’t spend as much time alone nowdays, but we just adapt to a different life. We sit and quietly watch our sleeping daughter, holding hands. Some things are just better unspoken. And one of them is…”That’s our beautiful baby girl, dear. This is a good life…and I love you very much”.

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My Little Sunbeammmmm

Madelyn is always smiling, giggling and laughing. So bright and happy and full of joy! Like a sunbeam!

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